Touched

I now feel that my voice is being heard in the world. My last post overall saw over 1400 views. That just proves that people really are opening their eyes to these things going on. People watching the things with Bishop Eddie Long and Tyler Clementi are now realizing that things need to change...and for the better.

Just a few short minutes ago, I saw a post on Yahoo talking about how people's opinion on gay marriage and gay rights have now changed. It used to be that America was 50/50 on the view. And on their poll, over 40,000 people voted, and 53% are now in favor, and 47% opposed. Opinions are now changing. Sadly, it takes very big issues such as Tyler Clementi's suicide to make people really think on these things.

Okay, moving on. I have told you that things are not so great with my job right now. Actually, it continues to get worse. Not my point though. My point is that yesterday I worked at our little "foam factory". It's where kids can come in and play with styrofoam balls. They love it. Yesterday we had a party in the building, and all of the kids came to play in the foam factory.

One of the kids belonged to my old english teacher. And this child has cerebral palsy. It just broke my heart to see him. It breaks my heart to see any child with a disability. They don't deserve to live a hard life. Anyways, he was very excited to come in. He started playing on the bottom floor. He comes up to me and asks where his brother is. I said I would help him.

After we find him, he decides he wants to go up the steps and go down the slides. His parents come in to help him, but I insisted that I had things under control. He made it up the steps, and I helped him get on the slide. After he knew he could make it from there, he pushed me away and said that he would see me at the bottom. So I rushed down to meet him, and I see him with a big smile as he came out. He insisted that he did it again and again, and I followed him every step of the way.

The thing that got me was that he wanted to go up to the very highest point of the structure. It is a tunnel that hangs over the entire things. I have never been able to cross it because I am terrified of heights. But he wanted to do it. I told I was not able to go across, but that I would see him on the other side. I go and he is almost there. I tell him that he did super well, alot better than what I could. And he said the thing that still waters my eyes, "I'm not afraid." I'm not even going to explain why it gets to me.

It is time for him to leave, and he says that he had so much fun. He parents are truly grateful. They say it was nice for me to give both him and them a moment to do their own thing. They said I had the most patience they have ever seen in a person, and that I should consider a degree in special education. And later, someone comes up to me and says, "I heard all of the great things you did for that boy." That entire experience touched me in more ways than one.

And that is why I work there. To give children the experience of a lifetime, and to make them feel that they are important. I know that things are bad now, but I have hope that things will get better.

Ha, I had alot to talk about today. I hope you all take a moment to think about the things I said today and apply it to your life tomorrow!

-Tyler

Sickened

Some people just really make me sick. I don't know why people are so cruel and uncompassionate towards people that do not share equal views, or do not openly share lifestyles because they fear that people will judge them for that reason. Whether it is about sexual orientation, political preference, ethnic groups, you name it. And the many different ways people treat them for those reasons are unconcievable.

For people who don't watch the news, tv of some sort, or read internet articles, a boy by the name of Tyler Clementi took his own life to escape the harsh treatment given by his roommate. A freshmen in college, attending Rutgers University, he really had his name out there. They say that he was a very accomplished musician through his school. I saw that he was featured in many school music videos on Youtube. And you know what, his life was changed forever because his roommate passed judgement on him.

Okay, I'm just going to get down to the nitty gritty. His roommate discovered that Tyler was making out with a guy from that same school. He tweeted about it (funny, but his twitter has now disappeared), talking sarcastically about what he knew.

Unknown to Tyler, this same roommate had a secret webcam in his room while engaging in sexual activities with this same guy. Get this though, the roommate streamed it live over the net, and tweeted for people to watch it. I'm not fully aware of the situation from there, but I assume that he found out and took his own life by jumping the George Washington bridge. Such a tragedy.

I don't know about you, but I am pretty mad about this. Not only did he expose this guy's privacy, but he also streamed it live in front of potentially millions of viewers. And you know that people get off of this type of public humiliation.

People like that give people and the internet a bad name. No wonder schools try to regulate everything we do. No wonder people are afraid to really express what they want to say or what they feel. Look at Bishop Eddie Long and other political leaders. They don't know this, but what they say impacts someone one way or another.

Now, I have already said that I support gay rights and everything that involves that. It's not something that I would do, but why should I pass judgment on someone for who they love or what they do? I know I would hate people passing judgement on me for something. And just imagine if we all could stop all of this bigotry and people could feel safe in what they want to do. The world would be such a better place to live in. Just something to think about. I'll be praying for Tyler Clementi and his family tonight. And I think we should all pray for the people that instigate this stuff to happen.

-Tyler

Addisons

Amazing! You have no idea how excited I was about the response from the last post. For those that don't follow me on Twitter and such, the last post drew in over 1,000 views into this blog. I looked all over and I could see other people posting my link in the web and talking about my views. I said that I didn't expect to get a huge crowd with it, but wow, you guys proved me wrong! Thank you so much! It really touched me to see that so many wanted to read what I had to say!

Alot of people mainly focused on what I had to say about Bishop Eddie Long. It was a prime example of my entire point. People were angered by him today as he stepped into the pulpit and denied the claims based on those 4 men. Some say he is guilty, but some say there isn't enough to prove. But one thing is for certain, which once again refers back to my las post, if he had just never spoken agains homosexuality, alot of people would have never paid attention to this. That's what you call taking more than you can chew!

But wow, I have no idea how I managed to put so many thoughts in my last post. How many was there? Too many for me to count. As you can tell, I had alot going through my head at the time. And you can tell I did not think about it long because it's all jumbled up. But seriously, I hope I made a point with it. Maybe some people will follow my lead.

To be truthful, my entire week has been rough. Sorry, maybe make that 2 weeks. School work continues to pile on itself. Work continues to get more complicated every day due to our new manager. My dad's recent health scare. Thankfully though, everything is fine. And another thing that has happened that may possibly bring my overall family together.

I can't say that I have taken a liking to my uncle the past few years. Not that he knows anything about this. I tend to keep my feelings toward him a secret. One side of my family just wants to keep the peace on some things. So why should I bring back old wounds? Not me, not I.

I won't go into the nitty gritty, because what happened is a soap opera in itself. Long story short, I was very close to him and vice versa. He got married, and eventually took actions based on accusations by her. I won't go into who it involved (it wasn't me personally) or what it involved, but his actions led me to loose respect and admiration in everything that he was and what he stood for. His actions also split that side of my family in half for 2 years because of it.

I had not seen him in person in over 2 years, nor did I want to. While it did not involve me, I felt just as betrayed and hurt. I also felt that it was so hipocritcal of him to act like that and in the 2 year hiatus, he becomes a very big figure in his church. While I am very religious, I felt that a confession in my front yard would have sufficed alot better.

They then proposed that we shared Christmas together after 2 long years. While the rest of my family agreed, I was dead set against it. But for my family's sake I agreed. Since then, I have put a fake front. The situation has improved some, but never will it be the same again.

Okay, to my point. Sunday he was rushed into the hospital for some known symptoms. Monday, he is diagnosed with Addisons disease. I really don't know how to really explain it, but I'll compare it to how your immune system is trashed after chemo. Apparently he has had this for some time, but just now diagnosed. He has been a basket case since then, along with my grandmother and who knows who else.

Now, don't say, "Wow, his cold heart really can bleed," when I say that I was really concerned about all of this. I wanted to go and be there for him during his hard time. But of course, school and work had a firm grip on me. He has since returned home, but his life will be altered forever.

So now I sit here with many emotions. And what kills me is that the entire time that I think of what horrible things he is going through, and all I want is to tell him how I feel that he betrayed me, my family, and how much I despise him for it.

Maybe I can make things better by continuing to be there for him during his health crisis. Hey, maybe even this will bring us closer, possibly. Or maybe my intention is to tell what I really want to say to get some closure...for the both of us.

All I know is that with everything going on right now, the only time I can escape reality is when I do my 6 minute commute to work, school and home every day.

-Tyler