Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Love Hate Situation Pt. 2 - Wrong Path

It's great to be back! I had intentions on writing earlier, but I found out all of a sudden that we had my sister's birthday party at the skating ring. I had alot of fun. I got a workout on wheels and help some of her friends learn how to skate. It felt good to get out for a day after being snowed in for nearly 2 days.

I wanted to explain something before we got into the next part in our series. After posting last night I observed that there might be some confusion with the title "The Love Hate Situation". Although my last post was about relationships, the others talk about the good parts and bad parts in the relationship that I have with these other 3 people. Please forgive the vagueness of this post. Now that I have cleared that up, let us begin.

Part 2: Wrong Path

This time this is about my friendship with a guy that I have known nearly all my school life. We first met our 3rd grade year. We were both transfers from other schools. I think we became friends easily because we both had a hard time fitting in with the other groups. I remember the time that year when a girl transfered in and we both really liked her and we both tried to impress her. But like those tv sitcoms, she wasn't into either one of us so that was that.

Later on, we went into different classes and we didn't see each other alot. But in our 6th grade year we had several classes together and our friendship grew from there. Back then Pokemon and Yugioh was the hit so we would go to each other's house and play cards or battle on our gameboys. Or we would get on the phone for hours at a time and play that way, although I'm sure both of us cheated.

I found out quickly that he was the leader of the two of us. It was a quality I didn't really respect about him, even to this day. I felt that he took the first chance he could get at something, even though I was trying to get a chance at it and was as much capable as him to acheive it. I never called him on this, even though I felt like I should have.

Later on towards our 8th grade year I found out that he had started smoking. I was shocked at how early he started. But I was also not aware at how many started at my age. I never judged him of it, at least not to his face. It never affected our friendship.

We then went our own ways again as I went to the regular high school, while he went to the High School/College School that we have here. But our sophmore year he told me something about him that changed our friendship forever. I don't want to discuss what it was because thats a whole blog post in itself. But our friendship grew from it...for a time.

But also at the same time it was the staging ground for the decaying of our friendship. Eventually we didn't see eye to eye and that was when he started hanging out with the people who did see him eye to eye.

Eventually that started to where he experimented with pot. Its common for our age group to try it around here, although I have never, nor do I plan on trying it. That soon lead to prescription drugs and alcohol, and then a mixture of all three. And like most people it was to get a thrill.

We had numerous arguments, including several months of no contact. He then apoligized, saying that he needed a walk with faith and get his head screwed back on. He said that he "Pushed away all of his friends". But whether or not he has found peace within himself, he has not tried to reestablish contact with me. Sometimes he says that he has moved on with his life. Come on people, this isn't a love drama. Although he certainly acted like it was.

The last time I heard from him was a month ago. And even that was brief. I don't think he wants to make contact with anyone he talked to a year ago. Or maybe he was tired of wondering if I approved of his risky actions. What he said that changed our friendship changed him ten times more. This is terrible of a friend, but I expect something to happen to him. It's not that I want it to happen, but the way he has acted, he isn't really helping himself out.

I just hope he can get control of his life before something gets in control of him.

Well now. That was more in depth that I expected it to be. I hope you were able to follow the story well with all the loop holes in it. I just felt that some things should be left unsaid.

Well due to school being cancelled tomorrow, I'll have more time to prepare the next part in the series!! I hope you are enjoying reading them because I fell so much better after writing them.

I'll see ya soon!
-Tyler

Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Love Hate Situation

Well today has been very boring. More rain sleet and snow, but for now nothing. And now church tomorrow is cancelled so I guess I'm sleeping in. So I promised you all a new post by the end of the day so I'm going to keep my promise.

While I was sitting at home today I thought of many things to talk about on here. I came up with alot of things. But there was one topic that I felt was the one to talk about tonight. This topic is based on 4 people and the complexed relationship I have with each one. I think this is such a big topic that I will have to break it up into 4 parts. Ha this will give me a reason to keep coming back on. So here we go.

Part One: The Ex-girlfriend

I have known her my entire life. She is a little more than a year younger than me. Her parents are friends with my parents and actually her parents set mine up. My most earliest memory of her is when I was at her house one New Years eve. Me and my sister were with her and her brother and we were playing games.

Well the games led up to where me and her were pretending to get married. I wasn't so happy about the idea because you know how us guys are in our early days. So a long time afterwards I thought of her as the person who wanted to marry me. To be honest I think she had a literal crush on me back then, but we were kids so who knows.

I saw her every now and then years afterwards. I never really talked to her until she started coming to the highschool and the revolutionary invention of texting was invented. We began to really get to know each other. I really enjoyed talking to her and she did as well. I later found out later on that my sister asked her if she had feelings for me and she said yes. I took that information and used it to ask her out.

The relationship was pretty much the most involved one I have been in so far. But even so, the relationship went pretty much nowhere and I was the reason for that. It was pretty much a texting relationship. I have always been a very shy shy guy so I never really know when and how I was to take it farther. But I loved it because we could talk to each other openly, the way we couldn't around other because we couldn't trust well enough. We talked about our dreams and how we saw ourselves years later.

I started to be a romantic and send her parts of lyrics from a song as she went to sleep. The one I can remember specifically is:

If tomorrow never comes
I want you to know right now that
I'm gonna love you til the day I die
And If tomorrow falls asleep
Can you hold me fast
I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on earth

I meant what I said in a sense that I needed her in my life all the time. I wasn't entirely sure though in what way. It then came to where she said I love you at the end of the night. I was really shocked and unsure what to do. I knew I didn't want to say something to sound that I was trying to avoid to say it back, so I said it back. But now that I think about it, I didn't really mean it.

I guess that was where it didn't feel real anymore. I was saying things that I didn't mean to impress her back. What really sent the relationship was when she posted on her signature in her text messages "Mrs.Cook". It totally freaked me out because it felt like we were really comitted when we were not at all. I really didn't want to keep leading her on.

Other things happened in my personal life where I finally decided to end it with her. I didn't feel like myself anymore and I just needed some space. I know I broke her heart. That was the hardest part because I knew that she was still such a vital part in my life.

The last thing I can remember since then is where we began to date again. I felt refreshed from everything that happened both with her and in my personal life, and I felt I could try again. It ended again 2 weeks or less afterwards in a mutual agreement. I don't know the reasons on her part, but I still remained so shy around her.

There was a period where we didn't talk. I felt that I was missing something. It had been months since me and her had not talked for that long. After the new year we began to establish contact again. That was in 2009 and since then we have maintained a friendship relationship, although I feel that we both feel more about each other.

I think what has stopped us from getting back together is the fact that nothing has changed by the way we handle relationships. I know I certainly haven't. And I don't want to do that to either one of us. I have pictured my life with her and I really think we are perfect for each other. I just feel that we need to continue to get to know each other. And once I feel that I have matured to the point of getting back together with her then I will.

But I just worry that I will be too late. Ah that sounded way too corny...even for me.

I'm talking to her now so I'm gonna wrap this up...

Well there ya go folks. I spilled out my heart for the first part of the series. Make sure you come back tomorrow for the second one! It'll be juicy!

-Tyler

After the Storm

The glorious snow I told you about yesterday just turned into a wet mess. After I concluded my last post, it started to mix and rain. The snow started to pack up and now it looks only like two inches of snow. I know I promised to post some pictures for you to see, but if you have seen a big patch of slush before, you probably don't want to see it again.

The power continued to flicker on and off all night. But I did have the comfort of talking to my late night friends. Today I didn't get up until very late in the morning. And I spent over two hours play the Roller coaster ride game on facebook. A real great way to spend my life.

I hate to break it to you all, but I really don't have a subject to talk about right now. One may spring up later today, but for right now this random post will have to do. I hope you enjoy and I'll talk to you later!

-Tyler

Friday, January 29, 2010

Jediism

Well guys I am back. I look outside and I see that the snow has stopped for now. I can be honest when I say that we have gathered more than five inches and more is expected tonight and into tomorrow. The power has flickered on and off since after dinner. And strangely enough I saw lightning flashing outside. But apparently people say that is not unheard of.

There are tons of religions throughout this planet. Some are extinct, but not forgotten. And there are some that I'm sure will be created in the near future. But there is a specific supposed "Religion" out there that I have given alot of thought into, although I will never convert to it. But I have broken it down and compared it to Christianity.

My last post said that I would elaborate on a specific part in the Star Wars Universe. As you can tell from my title it is Jediism. Some of you may think that this is a fanbase dedicated to the movies, but it is not. It is an actual religion that has been practiced by over 500,000 people now. I bet Lucas never intended for his universe to be taken literally. But some have.

Okay, lets go through the gist of the force. In the movies they claim that life surrounds all beings and things. And there are certain individuals who can tap into this power and use it to bring peace and justice into the galaxy.

But there is so much about the force and Jediism that people doesn't realize compares it to Christianity. In Cristianity we belive that God lives in all things just like the force. We have the bible when the Jedi have the Jedi code, and both can be interpreted in diffrent ways. We have prayer while the Jedi have meditation with the force. And we have a church when they have a Jedi temple.

So as you can tell, there are many similarities among the two religions. So do you think that the people who believe in this religion used the basics from a fiction plot and combined it with a real religion? And do you think that this religion is even valid?

"Meditate on this I will". Ah gotta love Star Wars!

Well I guess I have spoken long enough. I'll go and try to kill some time before the next snow wave hits. I'll blog tomorrow and show you some pics of my area!

-Tyler

Star Wars

My 3rd post in a row! Aren't you proud of me! I am blogging in the midst of a winter storm. Thats right, I am in the Carolina area and since around One this afternoon, we have recieved two inches of snow. I sit here and continue to watch it pour. And this is "real" snow. Not like that soggy crap we always get. Ah well...moving on.

Star Wars has been around for the past 40 years or so. And it has pretty much been a part of my whole life. I remember when I was very young the trilogy was being rereleased. My uncle would take me and watch each movie, then would go out to Walmart or Taco Bell and get a Star Wars figurine.

Since then Lucas has released the prequels (which I didn't know was apart of the classic's storyline until my 6th grade year). It gave us a sense of how the Jedi were back before the Empire exterminated them. As well as the government that Palatine was able to break down.

I think Lucas did a very good job on putting all of the movies into a well rounded package. And sense then there have been numerous tv shows and books and games dedicated to both prequel and classic era.

There have been two diffrent clone war series. Both are kinda cheesy since the age targeted is little kids, but they do provide new details into the plot. Some famous games are of course SW Battlefront 1 & 2 as well as Jedi Outcast and Knights of the Old Republic. And my favorite of all of them; the books.

As I told you in my last post, I have spent the previous and current year reading the books that expand past the classic era. I don't want to give too many details but they included the gang plus Leia's political journey and Luke's attempts to reborn the Jedi order, as well as the kids they have with their significant others. And then there has been major wars including the Yuzhaan Vong (no idea how that is spelled) and the Dark nest.

Last night I completed the Exile book from the Legacy of the Force series and I have moved onto the Sacrifice book from the same series.

There is another part that I am wanting to talk about, but I will elaborate in my next post.

Wow has time flown. The snow is still falling and more on the way. I'll probably be posting the other part to this post tonight sense I won't have anything to do and I'll die of boredom.

So I'll see ya then!
-Tyler

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Recent Hobbies & the Union

Wow this is my second consecutive post in a row! That is a great accomplishment. I was very excited when I came on and saw all of the hits that were on here after the last post. Thanks guys. That means that I need to continue to post.

So anyways, since my post in may, I have been apart of many different activities and hobbies. For one, I am no longer on my Chatter World site the way I was a long time ago. I guess running a forum is no longer as exciting as it was. I think I got burned out after 2 years of trying to advertise for it. But I continue to remain on the Delta Goodrem forum and I continue to love it.

I am also not faithfully posting on my twitter account either. Although I am trying again. But I have become very active in Facebook, as with the rest of the world I think. It is amazing how many people have "Tyler Cook" as their name on facebook.

As of July, I have taken up reading again. I started with the first Star Wars book of the New Jedi Order Series. And of course afterwards I wanted to know what happened next so after 19 more books I found out what happened. And by that time I got hooked and continued to read on into the other series. Right now, I'm on my 26th Star Wars book since July known as Exile from the Legacy of the Force series. And in between I have read many other books such as HP and the Deathly Hallows once again as well as New Moon and Left Behind. I cannot believe it has taken me so long to get back into reading.

There is lots more that I have done since then but I will wait to elaborate on that in my next post.

But for now I wanted to mention real quick about the USA State of the Union Address that took place last night. Strangely I enjoy watching it every year. Maybe it is because I am interested in the way politics work. Even while sitting at home watching I could feel the tension between the two political parties. Some heated topics such as Health care reform, education, a cleaner environment and allowing gays to go into the military openly took place.

I actually thought that President Obama had some good points. But whether those tasks are able to be done remains to be seen. And of course the Republican opposition had to speak a few words in on how the entire address was filled with misleading information and things that would further push our nation in a governmental collapse. I turned the TV off a few minutes after the Republican got on.

Now that we have gotten my opinion out of the way; what do you think about all of this governmental talk? Let me know in the comment box.

Wow, I think this post was much more longer than my last one. I hope I provided some good points.

I hope to talk to you tomorrow!
-Tyler

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Catching Up

Wow guys it has been so long since my last post to you guys.  It's been what...7 months since my last posts?  I promised all of you that I would be faithful to this blog, but as you can tell I have not been.  But I promise, this time around I will be more faithful because my schedule is more flexible.  There is so much to talk about.  Today was the first day since my last post that I have really wanted to blog, so I took the chance and sat down to type. 

I'm going to have to space out everything I want to talk about into day intervals for the next few posts so I don't burn you all out with what I have to say. 

The last time I talked to you I talked about the rough time I was having with my former friend.  Nothing has changed since then, although I have attempted several times to make a peaceful reconciliation with her.  All have worked out for a time, until it all falls apart at her hands.  The first time was later in May, and then later in November.  The last time led to her making threats to me and harrassing me.  It just came to the point where I had to break all ties with her and wherever I had ties with her.  It wasn't very hard for me to make the decision, but ever since then I feel like doing that was just hiding from the problem.  But then I realize that I could live without having to deal with her any longer.  So I think it is worth it. 

I think about her everyday though.  Even after all this time.  I don't know if it is because I am still angered by her or that I miss the friendship I had with her, or both.  She is really a great person but sometimes her actions drive the people in her life away.  I was just another casualty. 

So now that I have caught you up on that; I am now 18.  But to tell you the truth I don't feel much more mature.  I guess that is because I am as mature as you can get.  I still remain jobless unfortunately.  I have though applied all over town.  But in a small town like this there is more applicants than availability. 

I still remain a loyal Delta Goodrem fan.  No big suprise there.  Since we talked she has done a ton of stuff like releasing her #1 tour dvd and toured with Andrea Bocelli in the USA during christmas.  And her Innocent Eyes album was named #1 of the decade in Australia.  And now she is working on her 4th album to be released sometime this year.  I am very excited about it. 

Well I think that is all I can cram in for today.  I am looking forward to my next post because I have many different topics to talk about.

Don't forget to follow my blog or comment!

And in case you want to know, I am the leader of two groups on facebook.  One is the Fight for Cancer group and the Delta Goodrem Fanbase.

Delta Goodrem Fanbase
Fight For Cancer

I will talk to you soon! -Tyler
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