I felt bad after my last post. I felt so hostile and uncontrolable. After a while you see how situations slowly progress until it consumes your thoughts.
Today was no diffrent than the last, or even worse. I was anxious about the test results. And you know what? They called while I was at home and I missed it. I could kick myself. And now it is after 5, and I seriously doubt I'll be getting a call anytime tonight.
I felt myself distancing myself from everyone today. I thought after this long people would start asking questions, but they haven't. Especially my friend that I told you about. I guess that is a good thing on her end. Everytime I made contact with her I was filled with such rage. This is not an usual thing for our friendship, so this is something just now forming. Or maybe I have just reached the point where I don't want to hear about her playing cat and mouse with the piano player in our class. I don't know, you decide. It feels like when you look out to a beautiful day just before the storm hits. Except I'm the storm.
Now changing the topic, my school was filled with sympathy and sorrow today. There has been a teacher at our school who has battle with cancer since my arrival in high school. She has went through 3 rounds of cancer, and today she lost her long battle. I heard it at 1, and the whole school was notified at 1:30.
Even if you don't know someone who dies, it is hard to really take it in. It's because the people you know were close to her and you see them grieve at their loss. I prayed for her every night when I found out that she was sick again. I'm glad she is in a better place, a more simpler place.
-Tyler
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