Ah!! I just got dressed from taking a shower and lord it is cold. Sorry about that. Random thought. Well I finally returned to school. I traded in one day of doing nothing for another, except on campus. Anyways, we are expected to get another 3-day blast of winter mix so I hope we go on Saturday instead of having to lose our spring break. Cross your paws!
Today I conclude the 4 part series that we have been looking at. I have really enjoyed it because it has helped me look at these situations from a diffrent perspective. It may not help the situation that I have with these people, but it helps me understand why these are the way they are. 'The Ties That Bind Us' is a good title for this post I think. You probably won't know why this title and story work well with eachother. But it means alot to me.
To be honest, after I finished the first part of this series, I had doubts of posting this one. I had no hesitations on the other ones, but this one I really had to think about. This person is an important part of my life, even though I feel I am not regarded the same way from her. So here we go.
Part 4 - The Ties That Bind Us
I am closest to her more than I am with any of the other 3. We are only 4 months apart, and even my earliest memories include her in them. But later on things changed for a time. When I transfered to another school in the 3rd grade she was the person I tried to hang out with because there was no other people that I knew. I think though that she only wanted to be in her own group so she kept trying to get me less involved in what she was doing. That eventually led to fights and where I had to start making new friends, as you read in Pt.2.
We had the next year together as well. Our friendship improved some because we both had a same friend and they dated for a time. After that the situation returned to it's original status. I eventually learned that really good friends are better off not spend every second with eachother, otherwise you get burned out. That was the way with us.
After we were in different classes things improved between us. Later on in middle grade we were able to do things together and not have trouble with it. By the time we had moved on into high school me and her were really close. We made friends with someone else together and eventually it was trio.
Things then started to become strained again because the two girls liked to talk about girls stuff and that left me with having to be left out. It wasn't really a big problem because they eventually included me in, but only after I asked about it.
Our sophmore year changed the two of us together though. She was apart of the Agriculture department and they had raised money to attend the conference in Indiana. It was the week of my birthday and she sent me a message wishing me a good one before she left.
When I knew she was coming back, I sent her a message asking her how it went, she said it was fun. I never pursued the subject after that. The next day I saw her in the school isolation room. I never really thought much about it because there could have been numerous things why she was in there. Right after school I got a message from my mother asking if anything had happened at school. I said no, but she said we needed to talk.
I seriously thought my cat died or something. I had feared the worst and sat on the bus home waiting to be hit with an emotional breakdown. It didn't happen, but I did get a shocker. My mom told me that when my friend went on the field trip, she went out of her supervised hotel room, when in a room full of random guys, drank and even some of the girls had sexual relations with them. She claims not to have been apart of the sexual stuff, but I can't help but wonder if that was left out.
I was shocked to no end. This wasn't like her. Sure, she talked about such things, but it was jokes and it was never thought of afterwards. But what hurt the most was that the only I was told about it was because both her and her parents were afraid that someone would tell me and I would leak it to someone in her immediate family. It was bad enough that I had to know what she did, but to find out only because they were afraid that I would rat her out.
She messaged me that night to make sure my mouth was shut and tight. I wanted to say that she had some nerve, but I restrained myself. I can't even explain what was going through my head because I had so many reactions and it hurts my head to think of them now. Later on I talked to her and told her that we need to get some things done for both a special scholarship program and National Honors society that we were in. She said that she wasn't going to be a part of that.
That infuriated me because here she was in serious trouble, barely got out of a investigation by the police by the skin of her teeth, and when there was a chance that she could keep those important things for college, she was going to throw them away. I pleaded with her to change her mind. I told her that I would be with her every step of the way to help. I knew I had pushed my luck when I told her that she had messed up alot of stuff and now she needed to pick up the pieces of her life. I know it was beyond my boundaries, but I felt that someone should have said it. Obviously it didn't go well.
The ironic part was that the people who she worked so hard to hide it from found out, and not by my hands. So it proved that I was more better with secrets than some people she told.
Two months passed, and we never spoke. I continually tried to get into contact, but no reponse. Our families actually spent christmas together and we sat there and said nothing. It was very hard from getting up in front of everyone and ask her why she wouldn't speak. Later on in January she finally spoke up in a friendly gesture. I asked why the long gap of not talking. She made up something like she thought I was mad at her. But I told her I tried to get into contact with her. I don't know what the deal was, but I really don't think she wanted to talk.
But even after the parting of the seas, things were very strained between us. Her attitude was so hard to be around. And not just around me, but everyone around her. That had been going on since this October I think. And suddenly all of that changed. I think her decision to join the army changed all of that. It gave her a goal in life so I guess that meant that there was no reason to be hardheaded. I nearly died when she came to me offering help for my senior project and telling me what a great job I had done.
Everyone else began to notice this change as well. I realized that she was slowly turning into the person I had known years ago. She says hey to me every time I see her. And she even comes and talks to me.
She leaves for the army after graduation this summer. She will be missed here, but she doesn't want to stay here in this small town. She wants go go places and experiences different things. This opprotunity will be good for her, and help make somthing of herself. If it helps her become a good and sucessful person then thats the path she needs to take.
And that my friends are the ties that bind us, as well as wraps up our series. I really hope you enjoyed it!! One of these days I'll come up with another series topic.
But don't worry, I have plenty of more topics to talk about til then. I have several lined up for this week, but unsure of the order. Until then stay tuned!!
-Tyler
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